What Are Emotions?

Emotions are feelings that rise up in response to the situations we are facing in life and the way we are perceiving these situations. One way to better understand emotions is to view them as falling into two categories: natural and manufactured. Typically, when we experience an emotion, it is a combination of both.

Natural emotions

Natural emotions are emotions that arise from a situation. For example, if we have too many deadlines at work and not enough time to complete the work, naturally, we feel stressed. Or, if we happen to experience a death of a loved one, understandably, we feel sad in light of the significant loss. Another example is if some-one were to steal our wallet, in light of this injustice, it makes sense we would feel angry.

Manufactured emotions

Manufactured emotions stem from our thoughts that occur in light of the situations that we are facing. For example, if we have too many deadlines at work and not enough time to complete the work, understandably we feel stressed. However, if we have addition thoughts such as “I am not capable” and “I am going to be fired”, the emotions of sadness and anxiety will additionally be manufactured from these thoughts, adding to our distress.

Why Do We Feel Emotions?

Emotions play an essential role in our lives. They aren’t just random sensations—they are our body and brain working together to help us respond to different situations in a helpful way. Emotions have two primary purposes: communication and motivation.

Emotions communicate to us information about what is happening to us. For example, happiness communicates that good things are happening and we are experiencing things that we hope for in life. Sadness communicates that we have lost something important to us or want something that we do not have yet. Anxiety communicates that something may potentially not go according to our plan. Anger communicates that something wrong or unjust has occurred.

Emotions motivate us to act and respond in a helpful way in light of the situation we are facing. For example, sadness often prompts us to slow down, reflect and change behaviours to move towards the life we are hoping to live. Anxiety often urges us to pause and consider things that can go wrong and problem solve and implement strategies to reduce the likelihood of a negative outcome. Anger gives us the energy to take action to resolve the problem at hand.

Unhelpful Ways to Respond to Emotions

Difficult emotions are uncomfortable to experience. Given this, it’s common to try and avoid the emotion, to attempt to get rid of it and feel better. This is a helpful response in the short term - we don’t feel sad, anxious or angry anymore. But, it can be unhelpful l in the long run, not allowing us to respond to the natural emotion arising in light of a situation that is trying to communicate something to us and guide us in our life.

Unhelpful responses to emotions include:

• Distraction: Many people try and push emotions away by keeping their attention focused on something else. This can look like always being busy with work or leisure activities.

• Avoiding: Not doing something meaningful to us that may trigger a difficult emotion to feel better.

• Detaching: Many people detach from their feelings by convincing themselves they are “fine”, intellectualising their situation or using humour. Sometimes, when emotions are overwhelming, people can dissociate from their experience, no longer feeling anything.

Helpful Ways to Respond to Emotions

So, what’s the alternative? Here are some ways to respond to your emotions that are more helpful and compassionate.

Identify the Emotion & Reflect

It's important to take time to notice how you're feeling and recognize which parts of your emotions are natural responses to the situation and which are being amplified by unhelpful thoughts or perceptions.

• Notice your emotions: Take some time to sit down and reflect. Ask yourself:

  • “What am I feeling?”

  • “What situations are contributing to me feeling this way?”

  • “What thoughts are contributing to me feeling this way?”
    

Helpful ways to respond to natural emotions

It is important to notice, process, allow, feel and act on natural emotions.

• Acknowledge and Label Your Emotion: Start by noticing what you’re feeling. Simply naming the emotion can make it feel less overwhelming. For example, instead of getting lost in the storm of stress, you can pause and say, “I’m feeling stressed.” This simple act of acknowledgment helps you take a step back and observe your emotions.

• Allow Yourself to Feel: Make time to feel what you’re feeling. By giving yourself permission to experience emotions fully, you give them space to move through you. Allowing ourselves to feel emotions can be likened to slowly unscrewing the lid of a shaken up soda bottle. It can be uncomfortable, but the more you allow yourself to feel, the more those emotions will naturally pass. Different activities can support you in noticing, sitting with, making room for and processing difficult emotions:

  • Guided mindfulness and self compassion exercises

  • Talking with a trusted loved one about what's going on and how you’re feeling.

  • Journalling about how you are feeling.

  • Intense exercise or high energy activities to release the bodily experience of the emotion.

• Act on the Emotion: natural emotions arise for a reason. They are motivating you to act in a way that a situation warrants. If you are feeling sad, maybe it may be helpful to take the time to slow down, reflect, spend time with loved ones. If you are feeling angry, maybe it may be helpful to have an assertive conversation with someone to resolve the problem at hand. If you are feeling anxious, maybe it may be helpful to get started on that assignment.
  

Helpful ways to respond to manufactured emotions

It is helpful to notice how our perception of a situation may create additional distress. Once we notice our thoughts about a situation we can try:

• Challenge Negative Thought Patterns: Try identifying the thought that is leading to your feeling. Ask yourself, “What is all the evidence for this thought?”. Following this, ask yourself, “What is all the evidence against this thought?”. Then, consider what may be a more balanced or accurate thought or perception of the situation.

• Defusing Negative Thought Patterns: By noticing thoughts for what they are, thoughts, it can take the emotional punch out of the thought. You can try to do this by practicing saying “I am noticing I am having a thought that ….”, labelling the theme of thought or story your brain is creating (“Oh, there is the ‘Things won’t work out story’ again”), or by singing the story to the melody of a well-known tune.

• Refocusing Attention on the Present Moment: Use your five senses (sight, tough, hearing, smell, taste) to refocus your attention from your difficult thoughts to the present moment.

Final Thoughts

Difficult emotions are a natural part of life, but with practice, you can learn to respond to them in ways that promote your well-being rather than add to your stress. By acknowledging your emotions, allowing yourself to feel them, and finding healthy ways to process them, you can navigate emotional challenges with greater ease and confidence.

If you’re finding it hard to manage your emotions, speaking with a therapist can provide you with the support and tools you need to handle life’s emotional ups and downs. Remember, you don’t have to go through it alone.